I'm A MarySue, How Do You Do?
by sarafu-chan
Summary: Just when Tenten begins to like Neji more than a friend, Lee comes along and ruins it all by bringing a... Mary-Sue! WARNING: This can cause severe Mary Sue nightmares for weeks! One-shot.


_I'm A Mary-Sue, How Do You Do?_

_Just when Tenten begins to like Neji more than a friend, Lee comes along and ruins it all by bringing a... Mary-Sue! WARNING: This can cause severe Mary Sue nightmares for weeks! One-shot._

SARAFU-CHAN: Another story! Yay!

CHBIKAKASHI: I wonder what happened to I Wanna Be A Supermodel…

SARAFU-CHAN: Ugh, yeah. Well, I ran out of ideas so I decided to write this instead! But I am still gonna continue it! Pwamis!

CHIBIKAKASHI: Fair enough!

SARAFU-CHAN: And don't forget, one review equals free ice cream! Sarafu-chan's recipe for feel-good fun: Randomness, sugar and insanity. And you can never have too much!

CHBIKAKASHI: You're feeling random?

SARAFU-CHAN: Uh-huh. Fear the random!

CHBIKAKASHI: I'm fearing it.

CHBIGAI: There was an anime, e-i-e-i-OH! It was called Naruto, e-i-e-i-OH! It was owned by Kishimoto-san, e-i-e-i-OH!

CHBIKAKASHI: o.O;

SARAFU-CHAN: You ate my sugary ice cream! TT How could you? I ought to... uh, okay, you can stop reading this now and go on to the story. Please?

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Once upon time, there was a very peaceful village called The Leaf Village but you can call it Konoha or if you are like my muse, Leafy. In this large village, a girl named Tenten takes residence. Her surname, you ask? Well, Kishimoto-san never really did reveal it so I guess plain Tenten would do. Moving on… Now Tenten is not an ordinary girl. She did not care about her hair or her clothes or about wearing make-up. No, she is definitely more than that. She is a full-fledged kunoichi and at the age of sixteen, is now a Chuunin.

Tenten woke up and immediately admired the magnificence of nature. Those colorful birds are chirping obnoxiously outside. There's a sweet breeze in the air that tickles little snot-nosed babies and makes them laugh that stupid innocent laugh of theirs. The sun is shining so bright that it could blind your eyes. The flowers are sooo just asking to be noticed and picked and then thrown on a garbage can or something.

Worst of all, this scene makes Tenten remember the events of last night…

_FLASHBACK:_

"_Tenten, are you sure you're alright?" Hyuuga Neji asked as he eyed the bun-haired girl while she's bandaging her leg. "I could take you to the hospital if you like."_

"_No, I'm fine. No need to worry yourself. See?" replied Tenten as she waved a hand dismissively._

_The Jounin did not look too convinced. "Training ends now. I'll accompany you back to your house."_

"_What, no!" Tenten stubbornly refused, thinking that Neji is underestimating her abilities as a Chuunin. It's just a minor wound, why is Neji acting like it's something so serious? But before she could protest some more, Neji lifted her up and carried her towards the direction of her house._

"_N-Neji… what are you doing?" Tenten asked after getting over her shock_

"_I'm carrying you," It was the blatant reply that came from Neji._

_Tenten was feeling kinda dazed and was avoiding eye contact with Neji. But finally, finally after much consideration, she decided to ask him why he is doing it. Oops… Bad idea. Tenten's heart almost let out a yelp when she saw Neji, THE Hyuuga Neji blushing. She was staring at him, mouth wide open when suddenly, Neji looked at her._

"_Why are you staring at me like that?" Neji asked, trying but failing miserably to look annoyed. "You might swallow some flies if you keep your mouth open like that."_

"_I, uhm…" Tenten was thinking up of a good excuse. Maybe saying "Hey, Neji. My teammate for such a long, long time now, I just found out that you are very handsome! Do you think I am cute?" is not such a bad idea._

_Tick, tock. Tick, tock._

_Tenten's efforts to think up of something good to say was unsuccessful. It just made her head hurt._

_Tick, tock. Tick, tock._

_Neji's so unusually kind to her in the past week. Is this a dream?_

_Tick, tock. Tick, tock._

_No! No dream would have Neji blushing! It must be a nightmare!_

_Tick, tock. Tick, tock._

_Hmm… He smells nice! Tenten wonders if he is using Axe™._

_Tick, tock. Tick, tock._

_This is getting confusing like hell._

"_Tenten?"_

_Tenten's head snapped into Neji's direction. "Yeah?"_

"_We're here," Neji replied as he let go of Tenten. "This is you house, right?"_

"_Um, yeah." Tenten waved a hand and smiled. Yes, she is smiling even though she's feeling awkward. "See you tomorrow, I guess…" But just when Tenten was about to open the door to her apartment, a hand shot up to stop her._

_Neji was sweating, making Tenten question to herself if the person in front of her is really Neji. "You see, Tenten, I… Well I…. I have something important to say to you." Tenten leaned in to hear more. "I think I'm…"_

"_Hi guys!"_

"_GAH!"_

_The two turned around to face their bowl-cut haired friend, now wearing a Chuunin vest, just behind them. "Uh… Am I interrupting something here?" Lee asked cluelessly, looking from a glaring Neji to a somewhat surprised Tenten._

"_What. Are. You. Doing. Here?" Neji was annoyed. Very annoyed. Super annoyed to the point that if looks can kill as clichés make it so, Lee would probably be dead meat by now._

"_Er, I just came here to introduce to Tenten my new friend! But since you're here Neji, I guess you could join in the fun too!" The Gai look-alike did his nice-guy pose that irked Neji more._

"_I don't want to meet another one of your squirrel friends," Neji said coldly, glaring at Lee homicidally. Tenten remembered the time when Lee brought a squirrel from one of their missions. Apparently, the squirrel Lee brought was very intelligent and after hearing Neji say the squirrel was "stupid", it bit Neji's finger._

_Lee looked sad. "But she's not a squirrel!"_

"_She?" Tenten said aloud. "Oh, you mean you found someone to replace Sakura?"_

_But before Lee could answer, Neji pushed him aside and turned to Tenten, "Good night, Tenten."_

"_Eh?" The kunoichi scratched her head. "But I thought you've got something important to say to me!"_

_Neji looked at Tenten before sighing, "No, forget about that. I'll go with this clown now. Bye."_

_What was that all about? _

_END FLASHBACK_

Tenten walked into their training grounds, stretching. She spotted her two teammates sparring, wondering if she was late. Normally, they would wait for her to come before fighting.

"Neji, stop!" Lee shouted. He looked around for something to use to escape Neji's wrath and found…"Tenten! Save me!"

Neji stopped attacking and glanced at Tenten before calmly dropping his fighting pose and returning to being the stoic Neji everyone loves and hates. Yeah, Neji is _that_ cool.

"What are you doing?" Tenten walked towards Lee and helped him stand up. "You're not supposed to be sparring until the entire team is here. Gai-sensei still hasn't arrived you know. I don't know what you're thinking."

Lee was gasping, pointing an accusing finger at their Jounin teammate. "Killing. Attempt."

"Lee, don't be silly! Neji would never kill you. At least not on a sparring match," said Tenten jokily.

"But…" Lee stood up, shaking.

"Lee." Neji said in a voice that almost made Lee hide behind Tenten. "If you do that again, I will kill you."

Tenten placed her hands on her hips. "Neji, stop trying to scare Lee. He's our teammate! We're supposed to be motivating him to become stronger and be a more effective ninja!" _But what did Lee do to displease Neji this much anyway?_

"Hn."

Neji just sat on a log nearby and closed his eyes, possibly meditating again. Tenten shook her head and faced Lee. "You alright?"

"Yeah…" Lee's voice was still uneven. Poor guy. Neji tried to give him the privilege to become the first person in the Naruto world who would reach the moon after using the 'Eight Way Wind Palm.' "But guess what, my new friend is here already! I'm gonna introduce her to you now!"

Tenten looked around her and frowned, "I don't see anyone here besides the three of us."

Lee wagged a finger in front of Tenten and smiled, "Ah-uh-ah." He did a sort of dramatic pose and shouted in a deafening voice, "MY FRIEND!"

And someone came flying from above and then stopped, staring at the two of them. She landed and smiled. She's the most perfect creature ever to grace the world with her presence. She was about Tenten's height with long, thick, jet-black hair with just the faintest trace of gold, thus making it almost glowing. Her eyes were deep purple with a silvery ring around the iris and her skin was like porcelain.

"Hello," she breathed as she saw Tenten, "I am Merisu Uchiha-Hyuuga. You must be Tenten."

Her voice was like a thousand silver bells and her black leather clothes fit her perfect figure like she'd been poured into them. Around her lingered the scent of flowers.

"Uchiha-Hyuuga?" It was all Tenten could respond when she saw the Mary Sue, who was designed to be perfect in every single way.

Merisu nodded and smiled sadly, "Yes. It was a very sad story really. My father was Uchiha Sasuke's father and my mother was Hyuuga Hinata's mother. It was a forbidden relationship that resulted to me. Nevertheless, I am happy knowing that with my Sharingan and Byakugan, I can protect the innocent even though I long to be a part of the Uchiha and Hyuuga family."

Lee was crying, "What a tragic childhood!"

"Yeah, tragic…" Tenten trailed off when she saw some kind of rainbow aura surrounding Merisu.

"Oh yeah, I forgot." Lee wiped his tears and stared at Merisu proudly. "Merisu can fly; she is telepathic, telekinetic, can predict the future, has a healing factor like the Kyuubi and can control the weather. Besides that, she has a black belt in five kinds of martial arts, mastered the art of fencing, is a doctor, can speak Japanese, Russian, Korean, German, Chinese and French, knows more jutsus than the Third, plays the piano and the flute, is an excellent cook -- oh, yes, and then she's a talented singer."

"Oh, Lee. You need not introduce me like that," Merisu laughed, her beautiful voice filling the training grounds and making the birds passing by sing to glorify her beauty. "You forgot that I also have the Teleportation No Jutsu or more commonly known as the Shunshin No Jutsu, which is the Fourth's signature technique."

"Isn't she the greatest?" Lee exclaimed dreamily like he's on Cloud Nine.

"What is going on here? Lee, who is-" Neji stopped in mid-sentence as soon as she saw Merisu who whirled around with the grace of a swan.

"Hyuuga Neji, I presume?" Merisu asked casually, batting her eyelashes seductively.

Tenten was not expecting Neji's three-second reaction when he saw Merisu.

The first second, his eyes widened like an owl's as he stared in awe at the Mary-Sue. Next, his tongue was sticking out and- what the heck? Neji is drooling? And just when you thought that the OOCness is already over, wait till you hear what Neji did in the third second. From drooling, he switched to foaming! He was banging his head on a nearby trunk too!

Tenten could not believe her eyes. Neji was acting so un-Neji just because of this… this… This Mary-Sue! What the hell is happening here?

"Merisu, pleased to meet you," Neji shook Merisu's hand after regaining his composure. "Your skin… It's so soft and smooth. So unlike the calloused hand of my other teammate."

"Neji! Are you talking about me!" Suddenly asked the shocked bun-haired girl when she heard Neji

"Hush, Tenten." Neji replied hastily as he shot a look at Tenten. "Merisu, let us come. You say you want to be accepted to the Hyuuga? I shall help you. Fear not the cruelty of the main house as long as I am here."

Merisu's eyes sparkled as she giggled in delight, "Neji! Thank you!"

And away the two went, with a certain Taijutsu user following closely behind, leaving Tenten all alone.

POOF!

"My youthful students! Your sensei has arrived!"

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Tenten was sitting on a bench under the shade of a mango tree. She was feeling depressed and betrayed. Damn that Neji! Getting seduced by that Merisu woman so easily. And damn Lee too! If he didn't come along and brought Merisu, this wouldn't have happened. Tenten hugged her knees. Like she cares anyway… Why would she let herself get bothered with this silly situation?

"Gah, this is getting too disheartening!" Tenten cried out as she pulled her hair in frustration.

"Tenten?"

"Huh?" Tenten turned around to look at Team Seven's pride, the beautiful and intelligent Haruno Sakura. Well, the pink hair was a dead giveaway anyway.

The weapon mistress stood up, smiling apologetically, "Sorry Sakura and you had to see me like that. It's just a bad day for me. Er, what are you doing here? And where are your teammates?

"Oh, them." Tenten could've sworn she saw some steam come out from Sakura's ears as Tsunade's apprentice crossed her hands on her chest, an indication of annoyance. "They ditched me just to go with this girl that came out of nowhere. And you'll never see such a strange sight. Neji was on her left side while Sasuke-kun was on the right. Naruto and Lee were following behind spraying perfume wherever she goes. Even Kakashi-sensei seemed smitten with her! He let her look at his face wherein we spent our entire lifetime just to see his face!"

"Let me guess, it's that Merisu girl?" A voice said.

Sakura looked surprised. "Ino-pig! What are you doing here?"

"Hey, we're on the same side for now, Forehead Girl. That Merisu girl waltzed in on our training grounds and seduced my team. Can you believe the nerve?" Ino exclaimed, her face a marriage of annoyance and frustration.

"You mean, you guys saw that walking disaster too?" Asked Tenten. The two nodded. "Geez, and here I was thinking that I'm the only one who was thrown from the passenger seat to the backseat, miserably left to watch my two teammates flirt with that Mary-Sue."

"Y-You're right, Tenten!" Hyuuga Hinata's voice came, sounding unusually irritated too.

"Hinata-chan… You mean?" Sakura's eyes widened.

Ino grabbed Hinata's shoulders. "No way! That… That slut! She even took your teammates away!" She turned to Tenten and Sakura. "She must be _that_ low to even make someone as kind and gentle as Hinata to feel unhappy!"

"No one messes up with the Konoha kunoichis and gets away with it!" Tenten declared, her hands curling up into a ball as she raised it up. "Let's teach that Mary-Sue a lesson she would never forget!"

"I second the motion!"

Ino jumped back, her eyes turning to balls of fire. "Temari! What are you doing here?"

"Yeah, you're supposed to be in the Sand," Sakura frowned.

Temari gave a smug look and smiled. "Calm down, girls. I wouldn't be here if not for that Merisu girl you were talking about just awhile ago." She sat on the bench. "It really surprised me when I saw my brothers suddenly run off like zombies screaming the name 'Merisu.' Luckily, I was able to grab on to Kankorou and after 3 hours, not 3 days, we arrived here in Konoha."

"I see…" Said Tenten thoughtfully as she rubbed her chin. "Seems this Mary-Sue is gaining a lot of male admirers and keeps on making female enemies."

"Wait," Temari opened her bag and got a dusty, old book.

"W-What is that?" The heir of the Hyuuga was eyeing the old book curiously.

"This is a book I stole from that bimbo," Temari replied as she opened the book. "Okay, here it goes. Listen carefully, everyone. A Mary-Sue is someone who is the female version of a Marty-Stu."

The four Konoha kunoichis looked confused. "What's a Marty-Stu?"

"Never mind," Temari replied as she continued, "A Mary-Sue is someone who is perfect; the woman every boy wants to be with and every girl wants to become. A general rule of thumb: A Mary-Sue is always beautiful, preferably with a chest that would rival Tsunade's, also more intelligent than Nara Shikamaru, should have an insane bloodline that would kill enemies in an instant and has a terrible past that was obviously made up to fill a deliberately missing bit in someone's background."

Temari paused dramatically as Tenten, Sakura, Ino and Hinata shuddered at the thought.

"Ahem. Also, it shouldn't be forgotten that a Mary-Sue should get involved in a romantic relationship with any male character in Naruto. Fan favorites are: the Uchiha brothers Itachi and Sasuke, Hyuuga Neji, Gaara of the Sand and the Yondaime."

"P-Poor, poor Yondy," Hinata said sadly, shaking her head. "Why can't they just leave the dead alone?"

"But how did a Mary-Sue get in here anyway?" Ino demanded loudly.

Sakura nodded in agreement, "Yeah, last I checked, they all flocked to the shows Dragonball GT, Sailormoon and Rurouni Kenshin!"

"Aa. Well, for some unexpected turn of events, Naruto is getting more popular each passing day and more fanboys and fangirls are finding the joys of having author powers. Seems like the authoress of this story got bitten with the Mary-Sue bug too." Temari explained as the girls exchanged uncomfortable glances with each other.

Tenten looked angry, "Then this is Sarafu-chan's fault!"

"YEAH!"

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

CHIBIKAKASHI: Sarafu-chan!

SARAFU-CHAN: What on? Chibikakashi! You know better than to barge in like a madman in my private quarters! Besides, the story is not over yet.

CHBIKAKASHI: Bad news! Temari found the book of the Mary-Sue!

SARAFU-CHAN: What? Damn that Mary-Sue! I should've made her more intelligent! And careful!

CHBIKAKASHI: And that's not all! The girls found out that you are the one behind all of this! Worse of all, they are cursing your name!

SARAFU-CHAN: That can't be! How come? Don't they understand that I am one of the good guys? I'm just doing it for the sake of the plot! Deep inside, I want them to end up happy! (rants some more)

CHIBIKAKASHI: Somehow I don't think they would listen to you…

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

"Okay. Enough with the cursing of the demented authoress' name," Tenten exclaimed as she sighed. "What we should do is take extreme measure. We should get rid of that Mary-Sue!"

"Right," Sakura agreed as she grinned maniacally. _Haha! This is my chance to make a Mary-Sue stew! First I would TOOT! and then TOOT! After that, she would wish that she was never born in this world ever again because I would TOOT, TOOT, TOOT! and TOOT! her! (too violent for a rated K+ fic, kids don't try this at home!)_

"We don't have to k-kill her, do we?" Hinata asked timidly.

"Nah," Tenten replied, sweatdropping. "Not all things should result to violence. Anyway, all we have to do is embarrass her or something. Maybe we can even use blackmail."

The pink-haired apprentice of the Gondaime raised a hand, "Question. How do we blackmail someone who we just met a while ago?"

"Ooh, I know! I know!" Ino was squealing in excitement as she waved her hands happily, "I'll use the Advanced Shinteshin No Jutsu!"

"Advanced?"

Ino proudly smiled, "Yeah, I just learned it from my dad. Unlike the basic Shinteshin No Jutsu, this advanced technique can let you control them with a 99 percent success rate AND see their memories."

"I like your idea, Piggy-Piggy," Sakura exclaimed.

"Thanks, Forehead Girl, Oh Dear Queen of the Forehead Country in a Faraway Forehead Land," Ino replied, offended with the word 'Piggy-Piggy.'

"C-Cut it out you two! We're not supposed to be fighting," Hinata said before any fighting between the two rivals would take place. Ino and Sakura stared at each other before facing the group again.

"But Ino's right," Tenten exclaimed attentively. "With that technique, Ino can see her dark and innermost secrets then spill it all out to us. We can humiliate her without breaking a sweat!"

"Hmm, yeah. That's a good plan. Saves time and energy," Temari agreed, grinning.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

"All clear?"

"Clear."

"Good." Ino formed the handseals just as Merisu passed by with a horde of boys following her. "Tell Ino-chan your secrets now… Advanced Shinteshin No Jutsu!"

Tenten, Sakura, Hinata and Temari all leaned in to see if Ino performed the jutsu correctly. Sure enough, Merisu slumped over, her face lowered. She started making weird noises before screaming "Aaagh! I can't take it anymore!"

Naruto looked worried, "Eh, Merisu-chan, are you okay? You want to get some ramen?"

Sasuke punched the back of Naruto's head, "Dobe. What Merisu-chan wants is a kiss… From me!"

"What!" Sakura gasped, her eyes narrowing. _The heck! Sasuke-kun you're mine, mine and only MINE! _

"That's horrible!" Looking from left to right, Naruto was shaking his head. "Sasuke, Merisu-chan is part Uchiha! That's called incest!"

"So?" The Sharingan user shrugged. "NejiHina exists and no one complains. Besides, it's better than NaruSasu."

"Guys, stop it!" Choked out Merisu with that angelic voice of hers. "I'm fine, see?"

The other boys smiled in relief and gave each other some handshakes. A sparkly background appeared with Merisu standing like a goddess, her hair flowing with the wind while the boys were kneeling to worship her beauty.

"Merisu-chan, this is a time for celebration!" Naruto exclaimed, eyes brightening up. "Let's go to Ichiraku Ramen Shop!"

"That's a good idea, Naruto-kun." Merisu agreed as she clapped her hands.

Meanwhile, the girls were surrounding a dizzy Ino. Ino looked pale and shaken and it took a minute before she can regain her composure, "Such pain. I've never felt anything like it. I don't know how anyone could have survived that. When she was only a week old, she was sent floating by the river and was found by a traveling merchant. At age two, she has already mastered the Sharingan and the Byakugan. On the eve of her third birthday, an evil organization came and killed the merchant because they were after his money. They pushed Merisu down the well and left her there to die."

"That doesn't sound original!" Sakura proclaimed, forehead creasing. "Especially the well part!"

"Yeah, that narrates the past of the girl from The Ring," Temari said as the other girls shivered, imagining a figure with a white dress and disheveled, long hair coming out from a well.

"Anyway, she was rescued by a ninja organization after two days and they trained her up until she was seven years old. At the same age, she killed the entire organization, including the merchant. Seems like the merchant faked his death and already swore allegiance to the organization. After that, Merisu acquired the Mangekyou Sharingan and traveled with a wise old hermit. Age ten, she helped stop Orochimaru from taking over the Hidden Village Of Dragons and acquired Kage-like powers. She also helped Buffy the Vampire Slayer find a way to make Angel good again. At age eleven, she obtained the Golden Fleece, had beaten Son Goku and helped some time-travelers go back to the thirty-first century. She tried to live peacefully for two years but at age fourteen, she was caught between the imaginary war between the Leaf and the Sand and calling the time-travelers, went back in time when the Yondaime was still alive and kicking. Even though it was not recorded in history, she was the one who originally defeated the nine-tails and even though she tried, cannot save the Yondaime. Fast forward to now and you can see that her achievement at the age of fifteen is having her very own "fanclub."

Collective groan.

"That past… That was obviously made up by the authoress to make people sympathize with her," Tenten muttered angrily.

"W-What now?" Hyuuga Hinata asked, looking at their "leader."

"I don't know. I want to practice my expertise on weapons on her but somehow, I think that with that long list of unbelievable achievement the authoress had given her the powers of a God," Tenten said as she threw a kunai to release her pent-up frustration.

"Yeah, that's true." Temari admitted. "She's just here so her writer can play a hero and pretend to be admired by everyone."

A flashbulb appeared over Sakura's head, "I got it! We'll try to poison her!" She got some yucky stuff from her bag. "These are the most poisonous things in the entire Naruto universe! One bite from this and she would promptly drop dead!"

"D-Demo… How do we get Merisu to eat that?" Hinata asked.

Sakura scratched her head, "Don't know, I never thought of that."

Another collective groan.

"But hey, it's still a good idea right?" Sakura smiled, urging the others to agree with her.

"How about we replace the poison with Merisu's drink?" Temari suggested as she took some of the poisons and dropped them in a glass of water that came out of nowhere.

"Hey, that might work!" Tenten was grinning, imagining a cartoon-drawn Merisu drinking the concoction and after a few seconds of struggling, dropping dead. Then Neji and Lee would be back to normal again!

"Ooh, let's put some dead bugs too!" Ino imitated Temari and got some dead beetles to add to the potion.

"Yeah, and the underarm hairs of my dad!" Sakura dropped the said items happily.

"Uh… How about some of the rust of my kunais?" Tenten added unsurely.

"M-My dog's poo!" Hinata's pet dog appeared like it's the most normal thing and did his thing. Then away Hinata's dog went, flying with the magical unicorn to Fairytale Land.

Ino cackled wickedly and stirred the poisonous potion carefully, "Now the only thing left for us to do is to add some food coloring and voila! The perfect poison in disguise!"

Sakura's eyes were dancing in mischief as she gleefully held the glass of 'water,' "This is a full-proof plan! Nothing can go wrong!"

"Now all we have to do is go to that Ichiraku Ramen place and give this to the Mary-Sue," Temari said in amusement.

The girls went to the restaurant. There, their anger towards the perfect little girl (eh, a Mary-Sue's a Powerpuff Girl?) rose to a higher degree after seeing their respective teammates acting like love-sick puppies just by the mere sight of her.

"Rock, Scissors, Paper!"

Two scissors, two papers and one rock.

"Again! Rock, Scissors, Paper!"

Four rocks, one paper.

Hinata looked in horror at her paper hand. The other girls were rock.

"Okay, so it's decided! Hinata-chan would pretend to be the waitress and give the potion to Merisu!" She patted the girl's back. "Good luck, okay?"

"A-Anou…" Hinata looked afraid and unsure. The other girls were all beaming at her, all believing that she could do the job of poisoning the damn Mary-Sue.

"Here, wear this!" Ino cheerfully gave Hinata the clothes of the waitresses of the Ichiraku Ramen Restaurant. "Don't worry, Hinata-chan. Everything would be alright! After this predicament, the boys would go back to normal!"

After a few minutes, Hinata emerged wearing the outfit of an Ichiraku waitress. She looked at the girls once more who were urging her to go before bravely entering the restaurant. The Ichiraku Ramen restaurant is jam-packed with Merisu's admirers, all of them male. Hinata was carrying the glass of potion carefully as she searched for Merisu.

"Aagh!"

Hinata's eyes widened as she looked at the glass, half-empty. She stared at the person who bumped into her.

"Eh, gomen." Naruto apologized, bowing his head. "I wasn't looking where I was going because I was trying to get a glass of water for Merisu-chan. Are you alright?"

Hinata nodded, aware of her face containing the possible hues of red. She looked at the glass again. "A-Anou, please give this to Merisu-chan. C-Compliments of the Ichiraku Ramen Restaurant."

"Eh, okay!" Before going back, he turned to Hinata. "You look oddly familiar. Must be my imagination."

Hinata came out of the restaurant after, her cheeks red.

Meanwhile, Naruto was in a good mood, "Lalala… The bestest water for the bestest person ever!" He looked at the 'water.' "Hey! This is half-empty! I can't expect Merisu-chan to thank me by bringing her a half-empty glass of water!" He immediately placed the glass of 'water' in front of a certain dog-loving Chuunin.

"Arf!"

"Huh?" Inuzuka Kiba eyed the glass of 'water.' "Hey, who left this here? What a waste of water! You're right, Akamaru! Let's drink it! You do the honors!" But no sooner than Akamaru licked the 'water,' he fell lifelessly on Kiba's lap.

"Akamaru? What happened? Speak to me!" Kiba cried out, worrying about Akamaru.

"Let me take a look at him!" Merisu exclaimed, looking utterly beautiful. She went to Akamaru's side and smiled, "He is poisoned and is now dead." Kiba started crying. "Do not worry, dear friend! I have a jutsu that would revive him! 'Breathe-Life-Into-Dead-People No Jutsu!' " And an angelic light appeared above Akamaru and… he stood up, looking completely fine!

"Oh, Merisu-chan! How could I ever thank you?" Kiba choked out between tears of joy as the people in the restaurant clapped their hands.

Merisu laughed, "It's all part of the job."

Outside the restaurant, the girls were wondering why everybody was clapping inside the restaurant.

"Hinata-chan, are you 100 percent sure that the Mary-Sue drank the poison?" Ino asked, raising an eyebrow.

"A-Anou… I gave it to N-Naruto-kun so…"

"What!" Sakura exploded. "Why did you give it to him, Hinata-chan? Do you want to poison Naruto too?"

"E-Eh?" Hinata blushed and stared at the ground. "It's not like that! N-Naruto-kun promised to give it to Merisu and…"

Tenten sighed, "Its okay, Hinata-chan. The damage is done already. We can't undo it anyway. It's no use now. That Mary-Sue is too powerful… We can't beat it! It even has the authoress on her side!"

"Now I have to give up my Sasuke-kun to that Mary-Sue," Sakura said, heartbroken.

"Aa, my brothers?" Temari was looking at the direction of the Sand. "What would happen to them now?"

**BAM!**

The girls looked at the restaurant in surprise as Merisu, looking adorable as ever, hurried ouside, her black leather clothes fitting perfectly and her long, glowing, black-and-gold hair fell in soft waves around her face.

"I sense that Orochimaru would try to take over the Naruto world!" Her voice was now hard as steel, but it still held its enchanting echo of silver bells. It was like sweet golden honey over sandpaper, both calming and awe-inspiring at the same time.

"When isn't he?" Sakura whispered. Muffled giggles could be heard from the other girls.

"No, I must stop him! It is me he is after, that is why he is going to attack the Leaf first!" Merisu exclaimed as Tenten sighed.

"Let me guess, you want the entire Konoha village to aid you in your battle?" Tenten mumbled.

"Oh, I could never ask that of you!" Merisu said in that angelic voice of hers. "After all, this is my fight! Not yours!"

"Oh! This is where I'm supposed to ask 'why,' right?" Ino asked, earning a very badly concealed grin from Sakura.

Merisu just continued her rant.

"_I_ was the reason why so many of his plans have failed! He knows I'm the only one who can stop him. If you were to go after him, he would kill all of you! You don't realize how powerful he is! He could..."

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………...

Half an hour later...

Tenten was asleep, lying on the bench in a carefree manner.

Sakura found a comfortable chair that she pulled out from a random house to take a nap on. So did Ino.

Hinata's eyelids were slowly, but steadily, closing.

Temari was yawning as she listened in vain at Merisu's ranting.

The boys were looking at Merisu like she's the most beautiful creature in the world.

"So as you understand, I _must_ face him alone, even if it means my own death. I can't let him go through with his evil plan! I will stop him...or I will die trying! And so I bid you farewell!"

Tenten sat up, eyes wide open. "You… You're leaving?"

Merisu stood in front of them, a heroic martyr willing to sacrifice her life for the greater good, an inspiration to people all over the galaxy.

Merisu sighed theatrically -- an endearing sigh, yet filled with determination. "Goodbye, dear friends!" She said and flew gracefully, her long hair catching the sunlight as a golden light embraced her.

As soon as she was out of sight, the boys got back to normal.

Lee was clutching his head, "Ugh, what happened?"

"Hn." Neji said, feeling dizzy but not saying it out loud.

Tenten grinned. "Trust me, you don't want to know."

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………...

After the whole ordeal was over, everybody returned back to normal. The thought of a Mary-Sue or a Marty-Stu suddenly appearing to change their whole lives still left a nagging feeling on the villagers of Konoha. Tenten was peacefully sitting on her favorite place: the bench under the mango tree.

"Hey."

Tenten looked up, "Hey."

Neji coughed and gestured towards the empty spot on the bench, "Mind if I take a seat?"

"Not at all." Tenten laughed.

"That was scary," Neji said after a few minutes of awkward silence. "I can't imagine myself foaming on the mouth just because of a… A Mary-Sue."

"Hehe, so the great Hyuuga Neji is afraid of something after all?" Grinned the bun-haired girl as she stared at her teammate. "You know, I like you better when you're not acting like a love-struck puppy."

"…"

"You know what? I don't know why… But when you and Lee got enchanted by Merisu's spell, I was pretty mad at you guys. Especially you." Tenten confessed, not bothering to look at Neji.

"Me?" He pointed to himself. "Why me?"

"I don't know." Tenten exclaimed. "It's just that… I didn't think that you would get seduced so easily like that. Maybe that's a girl thing you know? Or maybe I was just being…"

"Jealous," Hyuuga Neji finished, a smirk on his face.

"Neji…"

"Ssh." Neji cupped Tenten's chin and smiled a genuine smile. "Remember what I wanted to tell you the other night?"

"Yeah…" Tenten breathed, aware of the embarrassing proximity of their faces.

"Be my girl." Neji declared as he kissed Tenten.

After the kiss, Tenten touched her lips and remembered Neji's gentle kiss just a while ago. She smiled and laughed, "Of course! I don't want to lose you to a Mary-Sue ever again!"

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………...

**Epilogue: Mr. Orochimaru's Lair**

"Hi, I'm Merisu Uchiha-Hyuuga and I'm here to stop your evil plans!"

"AAAAAAAAAAGHH! GET HER AWAY FROM ME!"

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………...

SARAFU-CHAN: (yawns as she reads the entire story) Eh, passable.

CHBIKAKASHI: Aww… Don't you just love a sweet and happy ending?

SARAFU-CHAN: Careful now, you might end up sounding sappy.

CHBIKAKASHI: You wound my heart.

SARAFU-CHAN: (rolls eyes) Enough with the dramatics. (faces readers) Gomen if ever you find my English bad. I have to improve my grammar you see? I just like writing so excuse the mistakes in the story. (bows) _Sensya na po._

CHBIKAKASHI: Please leave a review, okay?

SARAFU-CHAN: It will make my day!

CHIBIKAKASHI: Oops, your grandma's here. Hide!

SARAFU-CHAN: Eep! Noooo! She's making me pay the electrical bills! My allowaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaance!


End file.
